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Camp Rock

April 27, 2010

Director: Matthew Diamond
Writers: Julie Brown/Paul Brown/Karin Gist/Regina Hicks
Producers: Kevin Lafferty/Alan Sacks
Starring: Demi Lovato/Joe Jonas/Nick Jonas/Kevin Jonas/Meaghan Jette Martin
Year: 2008
Country: US
BBFC Certification: U
Duration: 94 minutes

More than anything, Mitchie wants to spend her summer at a prestigious rock camp in order to pursue her dream of becoming a singer. She thinks her prayers are answered when her mother gets them jobs at the camp as cooks. Mitchie discovers the competition among the campers is tough both in the classroom, and for the attention of Shane — a teen pop star, and this summer’s celebrity teacher. Shane — who is seeking inspiration for his own music — overhears Mitchie singing, but never sees her face. Haunted by her unique sound, he sets off to find the girl behind the beautiful voice as she confronts her fears and learns to step into the spotlight.

“WE ROCK!”….uh….no, you really don’t!

I have seen many rubbish movies, just look at my reviews for the Seltzer and Friedburg abominations. I have seen many cheesy movies,  just look at my reviews for the High School Musical trilogy. But never have I ever seen a rubbish, cheesy movie such as this one before. The story was pretty much recycled and has been done many times before in the past, the characters are tedious and uninteresting, it was very predictable and the funny scenes were just painfully not funny. You thought you’d cringe while watching High School Musical? This will have you cringing every ten seconds. The acting is almost terrible, Demi Lovato being the only one who can act better than all of the cast. The Jonas Brothers were awful actors, they should stick to music…well…no they shouldn’t but still, you get the idea. The songs were instantly forgettable except for one which would have been better sang by a different person, the singing is like I was watching karaoke or the auditions for The X Factor and the dances actually weren’t so bad, probably the only good thing I can say about the movie.

All I can say is thank God it’s over! I was kind of expecting it to be bad but I didn’t expect it to be this bad and it was torture watching it. You could probably use this for a trap in one of the Saw movies. “Hello, I want to play a game. You are now tied up to a chair in front of a television. On the television, Camp Rock will be playing all the way through, you have to endure it. Live or die, make your choice.”…actually, I’m on to something there, how do you contact the writers of the Saw movies? I think this puts Freddy Kruger to shame of being the ultimate scariest nightmare. Anyway, avoid if you can and if you have kids, God help you!

A really bad movie. A recycled, badly-written story, tedious characters and boring, forgettable songs and dances make this movie a loser.

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