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Meet the Spartans

March 27, 2010

Director: Jason Friedburg/Aaron Seltzer
Writers: Jason Friedburg/Aaron Seltzer
Producers: Jason Friedburg/Aaron Seltzer/Peter Safran
Starring: Sean Maguire/Carmen Electra/Method Man/Nicole Parker
Year: US/Canada
BBFC Certification: 12
Duration: 83 minutes

Born to be the perfect Spartan, Leonidas faces numerous trials to becoming a man, including a face-off with a penguin. Once he has proven himself, Leonidas not only becomes king, but also marries superhot (and slightly slutty) Margot. When Leonidas learns that Persia’s King Xerxes plans to make Sparta his own, he has his captain recruit Sparta’s finest and prepare them for battle against invading Persian forces. Meet the Spartans is from, yeah you guessed it, two of the six writers of Scary Movie and yet again fails to get one giggle. The story is yet again stupid, the acting is horrible, the characters are yet again made to be stupid for cheap laughs, the writing is awful…I can’t honestly say a good thing about it. This makes any rubbish movie out there look like the best movie.

I watched this with an open mind since the last two movies they made by themselves were awful, I was hoping and praying that this would be at least watchable. Alas, it wasn’t and the two writers still can’t write any good or new material and they still disappoint. I can’t believe how two men could ruin one genre! Utter trash! Avoid this like you would avoid the plague!

I wonder if they sat down with a pad and pen and said “What movie could we make that hasn’t been done before?” and the other said “How about we make stupid characters, make them have a dance-off, get Carmen Electra again playing a slutty character and we could make pop references in random places that have nothing to do with the movie. I’m sure we didn’t do that in the last two movies.”, “…it’s genius!”…hmm, that’s probably how the conversation went.


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